Talk about the new year has me talking a lot about pizza. I think it's my new favorite food again. Growing up on Pizza Hut, Papa John's and Petrillo's (only when we were lucky), I was like every other kid who loved a good, greasy mound of dough, tomato sauce and cheese. Then pizza lost its pizaz for me. Maybe it was all that grease and cheese.

This dish was inspired by my mama. I remember the day I told her I wasn't going to eat meat anymore. I was 16 and she nearly lost it. Thankfully, I made this announcement in public (at a supermarket, how fitting). It was the summer after completing sophomore year, and I had just returned from policy debate camp in Austin, Texas where I had reaffirmed some new values and was more sure than ever that I was going to lead a vegetarian lifestyle. She thought I was joking.

Last week I celebrated Father's Day with B's family (it was a first time feat, meeting the entire family and all).  With a chocolate craving and sense of adventure to try something new, I opened Alice Waters' "Art of Simple Food" cookbook and out popped these little guys.

I forget how simple it is to make your own pastry dough, and oh so satisfying and impressive..not to mention, the divine goodness homemade chocolate ganache does to your heart and soul. :)

i have a new baby cousin! his name is keon.
so adorable!

and in celebration--food and wine and my best friends!

creole stuffed peppers (black eyed peas, kale, carrots, onions and tomatoes) and spicy glazed tofu..oh, with vagmons over, it's so nice to cook and relax.

check out these exotic carrots i got from the farmer's market..purple! they looked really cool when i chopped them up.
'tis all for now. enjoy!

my great-grandmother passed away friday at the age of 95. a strong, wise and kind woman she was. my last memory of her is at the gym where she exercised on a daily basis. although she spoke no english, she befriended the women who worked there, and as she grew older and weaker, they helped escort her in and out of the gym. she bought them christmas presents every year as a little thank you. i remember this as i'd go to same gym whenever home from break. i also remember that she wore the cutest knitted hat my big sister got her. on appearance you'd think she was old and fragile, but really she was one tough woman. she emigrated as a refugee from vietnam long ago, and has since lived many american generations. i know very little about her personal life. her husband, my great-grandfather passed away almost ten years ago. i know that she was deeply loved and will be remembered. she is in a good place. to my great-grandmother.

A big reason why I enjoy holidays is because it gives my family a reason to get together. Otherwise, we're all too busy living our separate lives. These special occasions almost force us to put our bickering and private lives aside and act like a somewhat functional family, if those exist these days.

This Mother's Day was no exception. The big eight got together for lunch and surprisingly, didn't argue (unless you count Jesse's showdown with the hostess who seated us forty minutes after our reserved time). Then again, we were late like usual, but that's no excuse for poor service. I used to be a host so I take these things personal.

Anyhow, it's a gloomy May morning and I digress. What I wanted to articulate was the fact that this past Mother's Day was especially important for me.

These past couple weeks have been, to say the least, frustrating. And what's almost confusing and irritating is that with all these college acceptances, I would have expected it to be joyful. This is the time where I'm supposed to breathe a sigh of relief and jump for joy. I just thought all of this hard work would have surrmounted to a big horrah especially from the woman I love the most in this world. I suppose I also wanted her to read my mind. The point is I wasn't getting it. And yet I should know this, coming from a family that doesn't express itself in either healthy or effective manners. (We're a very demanding and impatient family for the most part.)

So instead I took to pen and paper and wrote my mother a five-page letter, expressing to her all the emotions I've withheld in the past couple years. Everything I've wanted to say but was too afraid to came out. There were parts were I was so angry and bitter that my words came out so hurtful, I then rewrote them and resolved some issues on my own. I certainly would not have been able to find such clarity without the lunch talks and support of professors and friends.

When I struggled to understand why my parents didn't seem happy for me. My history professor, Susie Ling put it to perspective, "Don't you see. They're afraid of losing you." I immediately thought of my mom who left her family and college to marry my father and mother six kids.

In reference, the LA Times published a poignant op-piece this Sunday titled "Moms are People Too." Deborah Tannen, a Georgetown professor writes, We want our mothers to see us and love us for who we are, but we are often disappointed in them for falling short of who we think they should be. Mother's Day is a good time to try to see our mothers and love them for who they are: creations of their lives and their worlds, which doubtless are different from our own.

To my mom and mothers around the world, we can never say it enough, thank you. Love you, Mommy.

as much as we get on each other's last nerves we make great family photos and love each other, of course.

it's a friday night and instead of frolicking at a party i organized two weeks ago, i'm at home struggling over an analysis on chomsky and the following random and time-consuming tidbits.

good deed: i created a blog for my youngest sis, britt (who of my five siblins i would say i identify most with). it was my attempt to divert her wasteful time spent on mysapace and hopefully will inspire her to write often. she's a seventh grader going through that rollercoaster ride of emotions as a pre-teen. it's a bit scary but i'm also hoping that reading her blog will help me understand what she's going through and possibly be a better sister at the same time. well, i read her first three posts and couldn't stop laughing. she's very honest, and i'm glad. she dedicated a whole post to describing each sibling and i have to say i'm sort of shocked to read what she thinks of us, big sibs. she's the youngest and i forget how much we boss and bully her so after this post i'm going to give her a big hug.

the debate: is it possible to change the world and date at the same time? as was the discussion i just had with my friend rei.

big events: revlon run for women and asian pacific american book fest tomorrow.

summer travel: i've decided on south america!

big days coming. splendid night, friends.

"yes means no and no means yes. want me to hit you?"
"no." SLAP

"yes means no and no means yes. want me to hit you?"
"yes." SLAP

"MOM!!!"

i heard a similar rendition this afternoon which made me remember the times my sisters and brother and i would slap each other back and forth laughing, fustrated and angry and oh, good memories. how easily we were amsued as children.

welcoming the newest addition to the family: Arya Luu Namazie
just as cute as cousin connie.